i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole

chaosghost:

»Bitch comes over

»”I’ll be out in a minute. Make yourself comfortable while I get ready”

»she undresses and relax

»Lights in the room turn blue and gold

»tribal music begins playing and gold smoke comes from out of the bed

»I burst through the door in a Sin Cara mask and robe with a hard dick

»Point at bitch, then sprint to the bed

»somersault into bed with sparks accompanying me

»botch

» Put on condom

» Bitch gets pregnant

curtisaxel:

i get very angry during pokemon games. more so than during bingo.

Me when I button-mash too much in the Pokemon Center.

I just want a cute guy who would watch rasslin and artsy movies with me and put his penis inside me if I asked him to. I DON’T ASK FOR MUCH IN LIFE.

If I was your girlfriend/boyfriend…[finish it in my ask]

broadway-is-my-home:

jimmyjamjimjohn:

rubywhiterabbit:

One day we’ll be in a Marvel movie, sitting there as something doesn’t feel right. and as the credits start to roll we’ll know what it is. It will flash up on screen and our hearts will break. “In loving memory of Stan Lee”. There was no cameo in that movie. And there never will be again.

are you satan